Chai Musings

I sit at the round antique table on a wicker chair and set up a little home there. The experimental Chai tea with cocoa, honey, and milk is still too hot to drink, and I can’t help but wonder why it’s in a glass instead of a mug, but I’ll assume they are the experts.

The rose lies opposite me, like a date. It makes everything seem beautiful. The gently playful music dancing around the room leads me to believe that there truly is a difference between being alone, and being lonely, and I have found it.

I gingerly take a sip of my tea – spicy, watery, waiting to taste the honey. On second sip I deduce it is perfect for comfort. It is reminiscent of the friend who will hug you when you’re sad, but simultaneously give you a kick up the bum.

I am usually the observer, the writer, but I am the one being observed here. My broken Spanish confusing them on account of my now darker skin. I could blend in if I really tried, and sometimes I succeed.

“You have very good English,” the Russian man I had helped in a train station told me.

The inside of my mouth is vaguely numb, and my head swimming slightly. I wonder idly if I have in actual fact walked into a tea headshop. After all, I don’t speak Chinese and assumed the sign outside translated to ‘tea shop’.

I look at my watch and gasp, time is escaping so quickly. Maybe it is drugs.

The group of four near-elderly people sat opposite me on the cushioned bench glance at me often. I feel as though they find my choice of chai tea and accompanying brownie an odd, uneducated choice. Jokes on you, I think, the cocoa compliments each perfectly.

“Is it the brownie?” I wonder in bewilderment. Is this in fact a weed brownie? Is that why the young waitress seemed surprised when the petite blonde girl ordered one? Well, if I didn’t before, I would surely find the Picasso Museum interesting now.

The group on the cushions are discussing Italy. I catch words here and there, the relaxed atmosphere encouraging them to speak more slowly. Calm, content voices.

I am calm. I am content.

I wonder are the two women working mother and daughter. The eldest sports a short, black, curly bob and carries a face full of wisdom and experience. Hands designed for a craft so delicate as tea. The younger presents herself more timidly, a fleshed out version of the elder.

The group beside me begin to bubble in laughter. Are we all high? I glance at the rose and try to wonder what my grandmother would think. And oh, how I wish I could know. And just then as I happen to look up, I spot above my head an ornamented bird attached to the window. I smile.

Perhaps the rose leads others to believe I have enjoyed a romantic day. No, I would apologise. I’m afraid I have romanced myself in deciding to carry the symbol of my grandmother around with me for the day.

I am so relaxed.

Does it look bad if I finish the whole brownie? I feel as though it has always been the case that I would feel bad. Here, however, they are so different. They value living, tasting, and experiencing over image. And I love it.

I wish you were here.

I take a second look.
Definitely her daughter.

Losing

Dear Readers,

I like to be as honest and open as possible when it comes to writing these posts. I have many writing moods; giving my opinions, sharing stories, or giving you a bit of a laugh. Right now, I feel like telling you a story, and explaining how life has been over the last two months.

Putting into words the emotions I’ve gone through in just these two months is so hard. On one side, it makes me nervous to properly delve into how I’ve felt, and there’s this funny feeling flowing from my chest to my stomach that makes me want to cry, throw-up, smile, and laugh all at once. In one sentence, the past two months have been somewhat horrendous.

2016 did not start well for Kerry. All around her, doors were shutting. Doors I had worked hard on, and put my love and energy into 100% were suddenly swinging closed without warning. Everything was hit. My physical well-being went downhill, my mental health went downhill, and any feelings of positivity and security I was privileged to abandoned me. Generally, friends and family will describe me as a positive and happy girl. I like the things I like, rude people rarely sway me, and if I love you, you’ll get all of my care. I have felt like a ghost of that person for the last two months.

The best way to describe it is as though I was standing on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere, nothing to hold onto and nowhere to run to. That’s the terrifying thing about feelings, you cannot run from them. Sure, you can fake it, act like everything is okay, but then nothing will change. People are like rocks, when put under extreme heat/pressure, they break, and are forced to change. (I got a B in Geography). When you break, you do not simply stay broken. The human body is this great machine which goes into survival mode and strives and searches for the best way to get back to feeling great. Sometimes, this means sleep and rest. I’ve done a lot of this. Sometimes, it means talking to the people closest to you, and sometimes it requires complete solitude.

To me, it felt like I kept losing. There was no competition, there was no-one expecting me to run marathons, but I felt like I was collapsing at every corner. Running around trying to keep doors open that are determined to shut is an exhausting task. Sometimes you want to force them open, you might even throw a brick at some of them, but all that results is a chipped door. From a young age, my nan told me that when one door closes, two more open. I’ve clung to this with dear life. I’ve been looking around desperately for the open doors. Surely, I’m owed like ten?

I think this is the first time in my adulthood that I’ve had to face the sort of emotions that genuinely put a hold on your life for a while. Something I’ve learned from this is that allowing yourself to feel the emotions is perfectly fine. You’ve been hurt, you’re trying your damn hardest to stay above the surface, and it just doesn’t seem fair that life chose you to knock down when you were working so hard to get to where you were. So, let yourself cry. Do what they do in movies and wrap yourself up and cry. If the world is too much today, take a day off. But sooner or later, you’ll need to face it again. Shower, brush your teeth, put on that lipstick that makes you feel ten times better. Friends are fantastic; they bring food, hugs, tea, and compassion when you need it most. And if they’re really good friends, they’ll even throw in some tough love. But above all, start loosening to crutch from beneath you. Among some of my bigger mistakes in learning how to life, has been creating crutches out of people. Crutches are freaking brittle. You, however, are not. You are your crutch.

So yes, life may be shitting on you. But, that isn’t a good enough reason to sit there and take it forever. Accept the emotions, because they are valid. Understand that you feel disjointed and dismembered. But don’t let it bury you. Remember your ambitions, your zest for life, and wake up every morning thankful that you have the ability to achieve those.

Love and hugs,
Kerry

Dear Males…

 

Dear Males,

In light of recent events, it has come to my attention that some males feel they have been grouped into a stereotype they bear no relation to.

Dear males, it is not that we do not want to dance with you, it’s that the last male we let do that felt he then had a right to touch our bodies in ways we had not consented to.

Dear males, we’re sorry for those of you who have ever felt violated, it’s not that we want you to experience what some of us have, we just want you to understand.

Dear males, we’re sorry for the times you feel you weren’t given the chance to consent and nobody listened because you’re a man. You have every right to say no and mean it just as much as us.

Dear males, we’re sorry that it seems like you’re always being shamed by society. We know it’s not all males, we just can’t take chances.

Dear males, we’re sorry for seeming rude on the streets when we don’t salute you. We’ve been conditioned to keep our heads down when it’s dark after too many catcalls, or groups of men shouting at you when you’re alone.

Dear males, I am not going to apologise for what we have been through as a gender. I will, however, apologise for the repercussions it has had on the innocent ones. You’re not all bad, and we don’t want it to seem like that, but the conversations surrounding consent still need to happen.

I am not going to apologise, because I’ve comforted too many friends who have been taken advantage of, too many friends who have said “no” and all that was heard was “negotiate with me until I say yes”.

I am not going to apologise, because I’ve been told too many times that wearing revealing clothing will attract “unwanted attention”. I want to be able to wear what I want without the fear of someone taking it as an invitation to my body.

Dear males, please join in the conversation about consent and rape culture with us. The only way to move forward is to work it out together. We want to be able to socialise without the barriers that have formed over years of conditioning due to gender stereotypes. We need to talk.

Sincerely,
(most) Females.

Helping a Friend with Anxiety

 

Dear Readers,

Is this you when one of your friends is upset/feeling anxious?

Fear not – I am here to help! Struggling with anxiety or panic attacks can be really debilitating. From previous posts you will already know of my experience with this. I was also recently published in the Voice a Story Magazine talking about my own experience and how best to cope (you can find this here). When you’re going through a rough time, having someone there to do and say the right things can make all the difference. However, for people (you) who have never experienced how frightening and confusing these panic attacks are, it can be a little difficult to understand what’s wrong, or what you can do. The following is a breakdown of what you may notice in someone suffering a panic attack and how you can help.

Fidgeting/Detaching:
If someone is suddenly very fidgety or completely rigid, this is one of the earlier signs of a panic attack. The person feeling anxious may be unsure as to whether or not they’re about to have one and the feeling they are experiencing will likely cause them to be on edge. Similarly, a person experiencing a panic attack can become very distant or detached from what’s around them – panic attacks are a very surreal I’m-not-really-here feeling so, detaching from their surroundings can happen naturally.

This is not something you will easily notice, however, if you do notice your friend’s mood has very suddenly changed and you’re aware of their mental health history, perhaps ask them if they’re okay. I cannot stress how important this question can be – it can be the point at which someone admits they’re not okay, not only to you, but to themselves. You could also ask them questions such as have they eaten today, or is anything on their mind.

Breathing:
If it is a panic attack, symptoms may progress to difficulty breathing, feeling as though they are choking, or that something is resting on their chest. This can be one of the more frightening symptoms of a panic attack and in that particular state, rational thinking is often hindered and they may even suggest that they are having a heart attack.

This is scary not only for the one experiencing the panic attack, but may also be frightening for the person they are with. It is very important that you remain calm and do not panic with them. As their brain is quite frazzled at the moment, they may need assistance in breathing. Count with them in the rhythm of breathing in slowly for 6 seconds, holding for 1 second, and releasing for 8 seconds. This is an extremely effective method for calming the system and returning breathing to normal. Breathe with them, but allow them to feel in control.

Embracing:
It’s important to remember that everyone with anxiety is different (especially depending on what has triggered their attack) so, they may or may not want physical contact. It’s human instinct to reach out to someone who is shaking however, asking them if there’s anything you can do first is their chance to show you whether or not they’d like to be hugged/have their hand held. Sometimes embracing someone who is feeling anxious can help them to feel safer and can help to lessen the feeling of fear.

Talking:
Once their breathing begins to return to normal, try talking to them about topics you know they enjoy. For example, if they love Harry Potter, you could try asking them about certain characters – who is their favourite, which book was their favourite. This can help distract from the scary thoughts they are experiencing as they drift into a comfort zone of their own.

Grounding:
Something else that is really useful when helping someone who is having a panic attack is to get them to use their senses – sight, smell, sound and touch. Get them to focus on a particular object, to try and smell something close by, to listen out for a particular noise such as birds or cars passing, and to get their two feet solidly on the ground or to grip something tightly. By engaging with all of the senses they will get a greater sense of grounding, a feeling often lost in a panic attack. This is why you may hear them say things like “I don’t even feel like I’m here” or, “I feel like I’m dying”. This is extremely common in a panic attack as feelings of dread takeover their senses. It may sound ridiculous, but it’s very real to them. The senses technique allows them to remain in some sort of reality which will help guide them out of the panic attack.

Nausea and dizziness often accompanies panic attacks before, during, and possibly after. It could be helpful to make them some sweet tea and wrap them up in a warm blanket once the attack has begun to subside. It will have been an exhausting experience and they will likely want to rest or sleep.

Hopefully this is somewhat helpful for those of you with close friends who suffer from anxiety/panic disorder. It can be extremely difficult to understand what is going on in the mind of someone suffering, so by following these tips you will hopefully feel more helpful than you expected. However, please remember that someone else’s anxiety is not your responsibility. You can be an amazing supporter, but don’t let it become your main concern. Someone with an anxiety disorder doesn’t want to be viewed as a ticking bomb; they want normal more than anything. Also, one phrase that saved me from thinking I was losing my mind was “you are not irrational, the fears are”. It may seem simple, but I clung to that sentence with all my life whenever I was feeling anxious.

I hope all is well, and I hope you never have to use this post. However, in the unlikely event that you may have to, or your friend might, maybe send it on so they know, and feel a little less clueless.

Hugs,
Kerry x

Bridget Jones 101

If there’s one thing we can all agree on in life, it’s that there is no female heroin we can all relate to more than the wondrous and ridiculous Bridget Jones. We all have a major soft spot for Bridget, wanton sex goddess, and her life-ruining anecdotes. Perhaps she makes us feel better about our own lives or, we connect with her on a deep level none of us care to admit to. One thing she has done, however, is teach us a multitude of lessons.

1) If he comments on your see-through shirt and little skirt with far too much ease and sleaze, what are the chances you’re the only one?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe the most accurate way we can describe Sir Daniel Cleaver in terms of young people today is as a “fuck boy”. This ever growing phenomenon is destroying all trust girls have for boys these days. However, watching movies such as Bridget Jones’s Diary can help us dissect what qualities to totally avoid in men in order to prevent such incidents occurring; sleaze and cheese, can’t have a conversation without making sexual references, goes along with your granny panties (he’s that thirsty) and, feels the need to assure you that you are the only one he’s speaking to. *eye-roll* Beware; he doesn’t actually want to watch Netflix with you.

2) Celine Dion power-ballads can, and will, make you realise you need to get your shit together.
You don’t want to, and you won’t be, all by yourself anymore. You’re Celine Dion for crying out loud. Now you hit that high note, kick that leg out and, don’t let boys be mean to you! You’re definitely done with ‘emotional fuckwits’ and ‘commitment-phobes’. Definitely.

… Definitely.

3) Maybe check the caller ID before answering the phone.
Chances are, your mum is on a different time schedule to you and wasn’t anticipating what you were doing at three o’clock in the afternoon. I don’t care if you’re that proud of your sex life, if he’s literally between your thighs, you probably shouldn’t answer the phone. Just a thought.

4) If you and your best friends have code-named those you like and dislike, be careful you don’t actually call them these IRL.
We love you Bridget, we do. We love you even more for being a daily reminder about why we need our heads screwed on at all times. Having practically re-christened the entire town with new names it’s no wonder you have a hard time remembering their actual name. Better to forget than be sorry, isn’t that right Bridge?

5) Support your friends in their emotional turmoil over the dickhead who just screwed them over… And slowly retract your statements when he turns out to actually be a nice person.
It doesn’t matter if she was cooing over their dreamy eyes and bulging biceps just five minutes ago, they did her wrong and now it’s time to make her feel better with myriads of insults. Can’t go wrong. On the other hand, if they happen to like you just the way you are you can be sure your friends will take the piss out of you for the rest of your life. There’s no winning.

6) Observe; “when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces”.
Out of the entire film, there is no line that rings truer than this. You got a boyfriend/girlfriend? Best be prepared for your college/work to go down. Things at home are looking up? It’d be an awful shame to have a falling out with your bestie. It’s the way life seems to go; it’s the balance of life keeping you modest.

7) Double-check the costume party invite. Then triple. Then quadruple.
If it’s not Elle Woods getting caught rotten by the bitchy girlfriend, it’s Bridget Jones completely missing the message that the Tarts and Vicars theme was no longer going ahead. If you do plan on attending a costume party, it seems the bunny costume is most popular, and can be excused as being adventurous or fun. Take note.

8) One in three marriages ends in divorce these days.
The more you know.

9) No takesy-backsys.

10) Give the nice guy a chance. The mysterious and rebellious guy might seem cute until he gets engaged to an American girl. Men.
Especially if it’s Colin Firth.

So Bridget definitely taught us some things about life. Be it the need for the occasional vodka healing or the deeper message that you don’t need to settle for anyone. In reality, she had two hunks after her so, could she really complain? Probably not. But we love her anyway. Just as she is 😉

Love,
Kerry x

Sweet Talk: Funfetti Brownies

Dear Readers,

I am finally launching the baking section of my blog! Why this took so long? I have no idea. This summer has been sort of awkward but I’m firmly in baker/blogger/human mode again. To celebrate this, why not kick start this section with a classic batch of brownies!

Brownies, though a simple dessert, are tricky little things. People are so picky about how they like their brownies so, I made sure I found the perfect recipe so you will no longer be disappointed with overly “cakey” or sickeningly dense brownies. I decided to turn these into “Funfetti Brownies” to add a little more texture to the mix and create a fun and appealing dessert for any occasion 🙂

So, here is what you will need to bake your way to brownie heaven:

– 200g dark chocolate
– 200g butter
– 3 eggs
– 2 egg yolks
– 270g caster sugar
– 115g plain flour
– 35g cocoa powder
– Dr. Oetker Sprinkles!

Method:

1) Break up your chocolate into a heat-proof bowl and, if you’ve succeeded in not sneaking half of the chocolate into your mouth, add the 200g of chopped butter in too. Melt over a saucepan of simmering water and make sure the bowl doesn’t touch the water.

2) While allowing this to cool, line your baking tin (16 x 26cm) with grease-proof paper, leaving extra come up the sides so the brownies are easy to remove. (Cut into the corners so the parchment lies flat!) Break your eggs and egg yolks into a bowl and whisk until combined (my nan used to say they were fully combined if you could lift your fork and the egg ran through the middle of the fork prongs!)

3) Ensure that the chocolate/butter mixture is fully cooled before adding the eggs, otherwise the eggs may begin to cook! Stir to fully combine the two mixtures.

4) Sift the sugar and flour into a large bowl and stir to combine. Sift the cocoa powder in and stir.

5) Add the chocolate mixture and sprinkles (!) to the dry ingredients and fold in. Be sure not to over-mix at this stage as your brownies could turn out slightly tough! Once everything is combined it’s good to go!

6) Pour the mixture into your tin and sprinkle the top with more sprinkles (sprinkles sprinkles sprinkles aaaaah!) Pop them into the oven at 160°C for 40-45 minutes (check them regularly). When you can stick a toothpick or a knife in and only crumbs stick to it then they are ready.

I decided I wanted to make a brownie frosting too, just to complete the recipe! I didn’t want anything too over-powering, brownies are rich enough as they are! I found this frosting on I Am Baker after a bit of research! It turned out quite nice in the end, though I wasn’t sure until they had chilled. I definitely recommend this frosting for the perfectly balanced brownie!

Ingredients:
– 3 tablespoons butter
– 3 tablespoons cocoa powder
– 2-3 tablespoons whole milk (or heavy cream)
– 1 tablespoon honey
– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
– 1 cup confectioners’ sugar

Mix all of the ingredients together with an electric mixer until fully combined. Spread across your brownies before slicing! I also added more sprinkles on top so that they would be wonderfully fun and colourful!

Keep these stored in the refrigerator and when you want one, place it in the microwave for 20-30 seconds and melt into chocolate heaven ❤
I cannot recommend these brownies enough! They will be my go-to recipe in the future! If you decide to make these, be sure to tag me on instagram so I can see them (@aspoonfulofperfection).

Happy Baking!
Kerry xx

Dying to be a Feminist

Dear Readers,

I’ve had this itch for the last few days about one of the touchiest issues in the western world. An issue that is being tip-toed around because of how people react to just one word. A word that carries such negative connotation and shouldn’t. A word that means one thing in Ireland and a totally different thing in countries such as Saudi Arabia. Yes, the word I am talking about is feminism.

Before you start whipping out your “I’m not a feminist” t-shirts, sit down and have a read. I have spent the last two days asking a variety of people what “feminism” is to them. A simple question seemingly, however the majority of responses start out immediately defensive. That’s right, defensive. I ask, why? People begin sweating when they’re asked whether or not they’re feminists and decide hastily that no, they’re not feminists, they just believe we should be gender-equal.

Great. That’s a fantastic response. Gender equality is the long sought after goal of most countries and people.

I want to stop you here. Are you aware that the definition of feminism according to the Oxford English Dictionary is “The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” Now, are you telling me that you’re not a feminist? That’s what feminism is; it is the fight for the equality of genders. So, why are we all running around claiming we’re not feminists? Why are we dancing around this word?

I think feminism is a beautiful word. It is filled with the history of strong women who were willing to put their lives on the line for women’s rights to be equal to those of men. It is filled with the women who still today continue to fight for women’s rights in disadvantaged countries. Just because we may not have to deal with as much gender inequality in the western world doesn’t mean feminism can no longer exist. I’ll be damned if I don’t support and admire all of the women and men alike fighting for rights in countries such as Saudi Arabia and (what was noted as the worst country for gender equality in 2014) Yemen.

The Gender Pay Gap in Ireland stood just below 14% in 2013. That’s women being paid 86% of what men with similar characteristics, family situations, work hours, and work experience were being paid. This is all in spite of the fact that more women than men are attending University and are achieving higher grades. This is an infringement of a human right. This is a human right that feminists work towards fixing. We have come a long way in Ireland over the years and that cannot be overlooked. We have feminists to thank for that.

Feminists. Not men-hating uneducated women. These are not feminists. They are misinformed people with access to all the wrong parts of the internet. They are the people who have caused others to turn defensive when asked if they’re feminists. Please, refrain from associating this behaviour with feminism. Achieving equal rights as women is not possible by putting down men. Yes, it is unfortunate that in history men were dominant but, times are changing and more men than ever are signing up as feminists.

Feminism through the years has brought with it some new associations. I would like to tell you that none of the following diminish your right to be a feminist:
1) Wanting to look nice for a guy.
2) Being sexy.
3) Liking so-called “girly” colours.
4) Letting a guy be gentlemanly.
5) Accepting compliments.
6) Not being every girls best friend.
7) Not liking sports.
8) Doing typical “girl” activities.
9) Accepting help from a guy.

Similarly, the following attributes do not make you a feminist:
1) Hating men.
2) Slamming women who carry any of the above qualities.
3) Doing everything guys do.

What will make you a feminist is striving with women all over the world for the same rights as men. That is it.

I think what is great about modern feminism in Western countries is that it has in fact turned into things like women being seen with equality in playing sports and strength. It is so wonderful. Equally, men have been increasingly accepted as being allowed to cry or cook. This too falls under gender equality, but it is not a reason to trash every woman who likes doing what were once perceived as “feminine” activities.

The issues are not so light in other countries. It pains me to read about the violence women in Syria are being subjected to as they are used as “weapons in war”. Women being held in prison have reported that they have been repeatedly raped and tortured during their time there. Not to mention hygiene issues being ignored as women go through their menstrual cycles. With the rising of the so-called “Islamic State” Syrian women are increasingly put down with harsh measures such as being forced to wear the abaya and hijab in a religiously diverse area and prohibiting jeans, close-fitting clothing, and make-up. Women are also not allowed to leave their homes without a male family member. This is affecting young women’s education and will increasingly damage their ability to fight back.

A lack of education is one of the biggest problems that requires work as women in parts of Africa face similar struggles. Most women are not aware of their basic rights because they’ve never been given the option and cannot read about it. Perhaps, one of the most horrific infringements of women’s rights is the practise of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). This will generally involve the partial or complete removal of a girl’s clitoris and the sewing together of the labia majora leaving just enough room for urination. This procedure, unlike male circumcision, is carried out usually when a girl hits puberty. She is not under any anaesthesia and complications such as infection often arise due to unsanitary conditions. For these women, urinating and sexual intercourse become extremely painful. This procedure, which is enforced so women are viewed as “clean”, can result in death. The World Health Organization estimates that at least 90 million females in Africa had FGM, and another 3 million will undergo the procedure each year.

If these facts and figures aren’t enough to make you realise that feminism is still badly needed, then I don’t know what will. These are helpless women who need feminists to help them and this can include both women and men. Feminism is not an excuse to hate men. Feminism is, as mentioned earlier, the fight for women’s equal rights with men. Can we please put down the “I don’t need feminism because I’m not oppressed” badges and realise that it isn’t a movement of women rising above men, but coming up to equal level with them in our most basic human rights. Without feminism, you would not be making career goals or voting or have a right to report sexual assault from your partner.

If you are not a feminist, then you do not want equal rights for women all over the world. We need feminism so that the world continues to re-evaluate and improve women’s rights. The rights to their lives, their bodies, their choices. The battle, for many women, is still ongoing. Support your women and keep feminism burning.

Kerry.

The Beauty of the Bake

Dear Readers,

As I write this, there is mouth-watering white soda bread baking in the oven and I can’t quite wait to bring you the baking section of my blog! While it’s being set up, I thought I’d give you some background on my baking history and why I love it so much.

I began baking at a very young age next to my Nan. She spent her whole life baking. Baking bread, scones, tarts, cakes and so much more. It was only natural that she would introduce me to this pastime. It wasn’t long before I realised how much I loved baking, and how much other people liked to eat what I baked! At least once week I went home to my Nan and Granddad’s house after school and we would bake something. This was when I heard most of the stories from her childhood and possibly why I grew such a love for the evening bake. She didn’t even use measurements, it all came from memory. We rarely used mixers, everything was completely handmade – a touch I think is important. There is definitely a difference between machine made and handmade.

For a long time, right up to Transition Year, I wanted to go on and become a baker professionally. I still sometimes think about how much fun it would be to own my own little bakery. And hey it isn’t something I don’t think is possible! I eventually decided against studying to become a baker/confectioner because I never wanted to lose my love for it by turning it into work. However, I continue to bake on a regular basis. Even today if I ask my Nan about a recipe I’ve forgotten she can tell me off the top of her head what I need.

That is why I am so excited to reveal the baking section of my blog next week! Sharing with you my favourite bakes, recipes, baking blunders, tips, history and my own stories on a weekly basis. There’s a lot I have to share from the last 14 years or so!

Until next time lovelies,

Kerry x

7 Stages of Leaving Cert

Dear Readers,

Seeing as the current Leaving Certs are nearing the end of the life-draining year, I feel it’s relevant to re-publish this post! Having finished last year and near the end of my first year of college, I think it would only be right to reflect on the life of leaving certificate, how you deal with it and the general deterioration of sanity you experience.

1) The first month or so of Leaving Cert is relatively similar to 5th year. Still working on courses, your social life is still sort of intact. You being to think “oh, this isn’t so bad. I can so get a good Leaving Cert!”

2) The weeks go by and you begin to feel a bit more pressure as words like “mock exams” and “projects” begin to get thrown around. Teachers aren’t just reading and highlighting any more, they’re piling on revision work as well as current work and you’re previously positive thoughts begin to dip a little. It’s okay though, you think, I still have like 7/8 months. Loooooads of time.

3) WRONG. You see, during the course of the Leaving Cert time does this funny thing where it goes 10 times faster than the last five years. It’s December. Teachers are harping on about the mock exams. How time will flyyy. You should study. However, Christmas comes along and the stresses of exams are far from thought and before you know it, it’s the night before school returns and you have a pile of projects, notes and unused pens sprawled around you.

4) January is a blur. Why are teachers still giving you homework? Mocks are in like 3 weeks? “They don’t mean anything.” “Loads of time after the mocks” “Don’t wanna burn out now!” And you’re right. Don’t burn out in January. However, it is at this time that your sanity is starting to fail you. You find yourself saying things like “did I just eat a whole jar of Nutella?” “I can’t remember life before the Leaving Cert..” “Is this even worth it? Maybe I can drop out and become a street mime.” The weight gain is real.

5) The Mocks pass and you think it went how you expected it to. “Grand.” Kinda. From here, you realise that you can no longer expect to look decent. You live in your pyjamas and tracksuits and your hair.. Let’s not go there. Mock results can be upsetting but they’re also motivators. HOWEVER. Oral exams are on the horizon, you’re dreaming of “Léigh anois go curamach ar do scrúdpháipéar na treoracha agus na ceisteanna a ghabhann le Cuid A,” and it’s the perfect excuse to ignore all else until after easter. March and April whirl past with project write-ups and oral practise.

6) Easter passes. Leaving Cert is in a month or two. Seriously beginning to question life choices. You began 6th year thinking maybe 500 points was achievable but right now you’d settle for a simple pass. You start daydreaming about summer plans, ignoring the three week block of exams to jump past. Then, suddenly, YOU GRADUATE.

7) The two weeks before the Leaving Cert are interesting. You want to eat everything and nothing at the same time. Sugar is all you crave. Books are all you know. You’re not quite sure you’ll be able to stop studying. And then hey presto, exams arrive. The thought might make the blood drain from your face right now but when the time comes you just kind of.. do it. Like a robot.

The important thing to remember is that it will eventually come to an end. You will have changed dramatically this year and so too will other people. Freedom will never have tasted so good (it will likely taste of alcohol) and quite frankly, there’s a little too much freedom. It’s difficult to wind down but it happens.

Keep your mental health in check for the next few weeks. You-time will be invaluable. It isn’t easy but it will be worth it on results day when you’ll realise you’ve done better than you thought you could. Although having a good Leaving Cert to your name will be handy, it isn’t the only option you will ever have in life. Breathe, prioritise, and don’t forget to take time out. If I can do it, everyone else certainly can! Best of luck 🙂

Love,
Kerry x

7 Ways to Improve Your Mood!

Dear Readers,

I hope this post finds you well – but, if that is not the case then you’re in just the right place! There are days where we just don’t know how to cheer-up or bounce around at the usual expected pace of our fast-moving lives. Maybe something has actually upset you, or you just can’t get rid of that feeling like there’s a cloud hanging over you. We can’t be expected to always be happy, but we can do things to help cope with these days. It’s important to take the time to care for your well-being so, here are some things I find extremely helpful when I’m not feeling 100% 🙂

1) Take a warm, indulgent shower.
This always helps me to lift a weight off my shoulders. There’s nothing nicer than a long, warm shower to just melt all of your stresses away. Massage your favourite soap/shower gel into your skin and let the pleasant aromas calm and soothe you. I promise you will feel so much more relaxed after this.

2) Get into comfy clothes.
Especially when paired with step one, this is a must for when you’re feeling blue! There’s no sensation nicer than going from a warm shower to even warmer and cosier clothing. I generally think pyjamas are a good way to go when you need a cheer up – what’s the likelihood you’re going somewhere anyway? Go on, put on the onsie!

3) Make your favourite hot drink.
I know for me, a bad day means I will be upping my tea-drinking by a million! Tea makes me feel relaxed and safe. There’s nothing quite like curling up in your cosiest clothes with the cosiest drink 🙂

4) Get into bed/Pile on the blankets.
Snuggle down into your duvet and hibernate from the world today. You probably deserve a break! It is well-known that sleep helps to improve any sadness/anxiety. Decide that you’re going to just chill in bed for a few hours with your tea and blankets. You’ll feel better in no time!

5) Netflix, Netflix, Netflix.
Whether you’re into Rom-Coms, dramas or comedies, find something to take your mind off the world for a few hours. I often turn to known-comforts such as Harry Potter or a series I’ve already watched like the Gilmore Girls. It’s nice to just forget about everything else for a while because you’re so caught up in someone else’s life.

6) Comfort food.
Sometimes it really does help your mood when you indulge in your favourite foods. I find carbs and chocolate are the way to go when you’re feeling down. Just satisfy all of your cravings and fall asleep in a blissful food coma 🙂

7) Cry, let it out.
While this sounds potentially awful, releasing all of your sadness will actually help. When we cry we’re actually getting rid of the hormone that makes us sad so let it out! The relief will be so worth it afterwards – we all love a good cry.

Hopefully these actually help you – I know they help me! And hopefully, you’re not feeling too sad! It’s all about indulging yourself for a few hours. Remember to always put your mental health first. If school, college, work is putting loads of pressure on you, decide that you’re just going to put everything down and take care of yourself – either for a day or just a few hours. How can you do anything well if you’re too stressed? You can’t! So, cosy up to your favourite shows and food for the day and face the world again tomorrow 🙂

Love,
Kerry xx